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Jesus’s Water


Harrogate Sparkling Spring Water 12 x 750ml Glass Bottles

Virtual product – “the religion is thirsty work” father. When you buy this water you get 15 minutes of phone call therapy. So put on Allah’s coffee. Jesus turned water into wine!

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Jesus water – “The water from the rock”

15 minutes of phone call therapy

It was when I escaped from mental hospital I sat outside Ripon cathedral while Father told me to collect rain water so that I could see the love of my life (Elle) at the Harvest festival. But father never delivered on his promise.

Then I went with Allah’s gassy water (pop) and fought for Elle.

But Elle took too long to come back to me so I decided her lamp had no oil and seek five new girlfriends with their lamps full of oil.

The Parable of the ten virgins 

The parable of the 10 virgins proves that I can take five girlfriends as long as they come to me with their lamps full of fuel.

Are you going to help the lord? H20 platinum. When you buy my Jesus’s water you get my Therapy for 15 minutes.



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